Potty Learning

Potty learning is a big developmental milestone, just like learning to stand or walk or talk our kids have their own path and in my experience, it can become a battlefield for families. Our kids are learning about their changing bodies, noticing interoceptive cues, growing independence, and their ability to have some control over what happens with their bodies.

It’s easy for us to get caught up in the timeline. But what if we approached potty learning less as something we need to make happen and more as something we can support our child through? I invite families to pause and notice what’s coming up for them.

As someone with some serious concerns around germs & bacteria, this was a particularly stressful phase for me as a mom and, unfortunately, for my oldest, too. I was anxious about the timeline, frustrated by resistance, and very ready to be done. Potty learning became a battleground, and with an incredible kiddo who has always been a fierce advocate for their needs, looking back I have some big power struggle regrets.

None of those feelings make us bad parents. They make us human. And when we can notice our own urgency, we have more room to pause and stay curious about our child. A child who isn’t ready isn’t failing. Human development is beautifully varied. Children learn to sit up and walk at different times and children learn how to use the potty at different times. We can offer structure, routines, encouragement, and opportunities to practice while still allowing our child to gradually take ownership of this new skill.

Sometimes the most helpful thing we can do is take a breath, release the timeline, and remember, this is my child learning a new skill, not my child giving me a hard time.

If you’re in the thick of it right now, my reminder is to let your child lead, take good care of yourself, and you’re not doing it wrong. Your child isn’t behind. You’re both learning.