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What happens when we take children outside, not simply to play, but to slow down and notice? My family has gone on hundreds of walks together (begrudgingly more now but I'm not giving up!) When we pause long enough to watch a caterpillar, listen to a birdsong, feel the breeze on our skin, or notice the tiny leaves moving like piano keys on a fern, we give our nervous systems an opportunity to settle into a different rhythm. Noticing what's in motion or listening to the sounds

We all know how important sleep is for children, but knowing that doesn't make bedtime any easier. Sleep can be hard..... really hard. Some children seem to fall asleep the moment their head hits the pillow (I've heard), while others struggle to settle, wake throughout the night, or need a parent close by before they can drift off. I understand this struggle personally. We tried the cuddle curl, the swing, the car, white noise, music, night walks, and everything we could thin

I've been thinking about the aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, neighbors, grandparents, or other extended family. These people are such an important part of the community around our children. I have been incredibly fortunate and privileged to live close to family, and they have been able to pick up the pieces when we needed them most. Currently, that looks like driving to and from volleyball practice! I know not every family situation is the same. Not everyone has safe or supp

My suggestion here is to get predictable! I want every family to find a screen plan that works for them. Every family is different. We don’t all have the same privileges, circumstances, or accommodation needs, so my guidance isn’t about what you do, it’s about how you do it. Unpredictable access to screens can increase dysregulation for children. So, look for places where you can offer some felt safety through structure and predictability. Make a plan together. Decide how scr

When I taught preschool, I remember being in awe of how much sharing asks of young children… A LOT! If you have precious littles in this big learning stage, you've probably heard, “That's mine!” a time or two… Preschoolers don't need to be forced to share. They can be taught to take turns through modeling, practice, and lots of support. It's developmental so if it's not happening yet, give them some time. And, “sharing” isn't actually one skill. It asks children to wait, mana

When our young children hurt someone after a big frustration, our instinct can be to say, “Go apologize.” But what if they're still angry, overwhelmed, or simply not sorry? I think about those moments when I've finally folded all my laundry and neatly stacked it on the bed, only for my precious kids to come running in and leap right into the pile. Nooo! I can imagine how big the disappointment can feel for a young child when something they've been building or playing with is

I keep RE-remembering that sibling conflict is usually about so much more than the surface issue. If we think of an iceberg. The behavior we see, the arguing, grabbing, yelling, tattling, “That’s not fair!” is just the tip of the iceberg. There is a lot happening underneath that we can't see. These behaviors are a clue but not the whole story. Behaviors can feel baffling but if we get curious about the behavior we can learn a lot. It may look like competition for attention, w

Potty learning is a big developmental milestone, just like learning to stand or walk or talk our kids have their own path and in my experience, it can become a battlefield for families. Our kids are learning about their changing bodies, noticing interoceptive cues, growing independence, and their ability to have some control over what happens with their bodies. It’s easy for us to get caught up in the timeline. But what if we approached potty learning less as something we nee

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to see what's going wrong? Your child left their shoes in the middle of the floor. They forgot their backpack. They interrupted. They didn't finish what they started. They had another meltdown. They didn't listen the first time. Our brains are actually pretty good at noticing problems. There is a reason for that negativity bias, we need to notice things that might be unsafe or need our attention. But sometimes that focus can become so stro

Just a reminder: We are humans, not robots. And our children need humans, not robots. We don't have to do everything perfectly. If you're reading this, you're showing up. You're doing the best you can with what you have today. And that is worth noticing. I think sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to get parenting right that we forget something really important: Our children are watching how we handle being imperfect. Let them see you make mistakes We don't always

Parenting asks a lot of us. There are days when we're patient, connected, and able to respond exactly the way we'd hoped. And then there are the other days. The days when we're tired. Overwhelmed. Running on too little sleep. Carrying our own stress while also trying to help someone else's nervous system. So here's your reminder: You are allowed to take care of yourself, too. Your mental health matters—not only because you matter, but because how you are when you show up with

I've been thinking a lot about the masks our children can put up. As parents and caregivers, we sometimes override a child's feelings because we believe we know what's best. We encourage them to do something they don't want to do, insist they try something, or push through their resistance because we're worried about what will happen if they don't. Sometimes, of course, we really are responsible for helping our children do hard things. But there's an important difference betw

Today's reminder is that change is stressful. Children and teens are growing rapidly and constantly changing. Their bodies change. Their brains change. Their friendships change. Their needs change. Their expectations change. And sometimes, even when the change is good, growth is uncomfortable. I like to think about it this way: CHANGE = STRESS Stress isn't necessarily bad. It is information. It tells us that something is happening and that our systems are responding to it. Bu

Here's another phrase I think is worth putting on a sticky note: You have to deescalate before you discipline. And I want to be clear about what I mean by “discipline.” I'm not talking about punishment, harsh consequences, or being more forceful with our children. The word discipline literally means to teach. Before anyone can learn, though, they need to be in a state where their brain is ready to learn. When someone is in protection mode, overwhelmed, dysregulated, frightene

Sometimes our children really do know the expectation. They know what they're supposed to do, and they may even be able to explain it beautifully when they're steady. And then, in the moment, they just… can't. And it's a can't not a won't... This can be especially hard to understand when we've seen our child successfully use a skill before. One thing I find helpful to remember is that knowing something and being able to access that knowledge in a moment of dysregulation are t

Regulate to Relate https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyDWCCX1UAI

Experience more ease, peace of mind, and connection in community. Join Beth Kim with Olympia area families for self care, mindfulness, stress release, and connection through our shared experiences as hard-working caregivers and parents. Olympia Parent Circle is about giving you the space & time to reflect, and the support you deserve and rarely get while navigating the ups and downs of raising kids. All caregivers/parents welcome! Alternating Fridays from 10-11:30AM at Fourth